So... What next?

18/09/2009

M. treated me like a king during the week I spent in Phoenix. She showed me around the city, she cooked delicious goodies and made me feel at home. The highlight of it all though, I would say was the Arizona Fall Frenzy music festival,





and in there to be more specific, seeing the B-52s live on stage.

Now, I don't know how many of you -if any- have ever seen the B-52s live. I never had listened to their music and only after seeing them sing it, did I realise that Loveshack is one of their "hits".

So, imagine you have a band and your little cousin who plays the guitar always wanted to be in a band. So you let him join. And there he is, on stage, playing it kinda cool, slightly expression-less (he is a famous, arrogant rock star after all) and overall not contributing much to the band, neither with his stage performance, nor with his guitar-playing skills.

Of course, having put your little cousin in the band, his dad -your uncle- comes into play too. He needs to be part of this because he always believed he can be a star. And surely enough, on stage, not too far from his kid, with his funky little glasses on and his 70's-style clothes (mainly coz that's when he discovered sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll), he is all serious and devoted to his style of singing. Inside, he is thinking to himself "I rock! I'm very good at this and I will show it to everyone. By being very focused, sharp and serious, I'll do this right!". And he thinks that having as his only movement an occasional on-the-spot army march, he is actually making a statement and idolizing himself. He keeps repeating to himself "Damn, I'm good!", but without showing any emotion or excitement.

In the meantime, getting your cousin and uncle in the band would probably cause a volcano-like eruption if you didn't include your auntie too. She never quite got the hang of acting and performing though, let alone singing. So when up on stage, right next your dear uncle, she's dressed up in her fancy, red dress, that she saves for a special occasion and has dyed her hair extra red too.And she's standing there, in front of the microphone, but she's not quite sure what to do with it. Luckily, she remembers what she is supposed to sing, when she is supposed to sing it, and every time it's her turn, she kinda shouts the words out in a half-stressed way, while shaking her body towards random directions, as if she is trying to hula-hoop for the first time in her life. And every so often, she gives your uncle a quick look, to make sure that he is still there, with the microphone in his hand, giving her that reassurance that the show is still going and she's not left alone on stage, looking oblivious of what's happening. So she keeps "singing" some words when need be, while having a look on her face that says "Ummm... I guess this is what I am supposed to say now. Ummm... shit... Is that... right? And... Do I... do I turn this way now? Damn these heels are too high."

Last but not least, you have the guest star. Your mom. A lady who will never admit it, but she would be irreversably hurt and offended had you placed half your family on your band, but left her out. She got ready for her big moment of fame. She spent 4 hours at the hair salon to make an almost Marge Simpson-like hairstyle,



slipped into her tight, white, long dress which seems to be 2-3 sizes small for her and jumped on stage. She grabbed the microphone and the crowd started to cringe. She still thinks she is the best and the most important of all members of the group and is putting on a performance that makes the crowd understand that her all-time musical idol is baby spice. She still can't sing for shit though and every step of hers looks like she is about to fall off her 12 inch heels.

And this group that seems to be the Adams Family of 80's pop music is still on stage, singing over and over and over again...

Ladies and gentlemen... The B-52s!



After seeing them, I couldn't decide if it was the worst live music performance I had ever seen, or if it was so bizarrely surreal and horrific, that it actually became entertaining. Whichever the case, I feel warped and dazed...

M.